---So I guess I could write. I have nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon, and quite honestly, the thought of homework is tucked way into the back of my mind. I was riding back to stout with one of my close friends Liz and we got to talking. Now this might sound depressing, but we got on the subject of our closest loved ones, and what it would be like to say goodbye to them in their last moments on Earth. Death. It is a touchy subject for a lot of people, and the thought of never taking another breath, never feeling, never seeing, never embracing again, is a scary thought. Discussing death only makes the reality of our mortality more and more evident.
---It doesn’t matter who you are, what you believe, where you think you will go when you die, or how you cross from life to death, the fact is we are all human and will leave this Earth sooner or later. Some think there is a life in heaven or hell, which will last for an eternity of righteousness, or an eternity of fiery doom. Some think that they will return to this earth as another living being, based on their actions, perhaps as a powerful predator, or vulnerable prey. Some believe there is nothing after their last breath has been drawn and exhaled, and the greatest extent of their being will be carried out here on earth. Regardless of ones beliefs, our lives will end, and what happens after that is an eternal mystery based on faith and personal belief.
---We drove, from Minnesota to Wisconsin, Liz and me, and discussed our feelings about death. We talked about saying goodbye, one last hug, one last sentiment, one last farewell, and to tell the truth, it scares the shit out of us. Neither of us was ready to even think about the day we tell our parents goodbye, let alone think about our own final days on earth. What will it feel like? How does one even begin to put the thought of eternal life or eternal death into perspective? Will our closest loved ones live long and healthy lives, or will they be taken before their time. Will we have the chance to say goodbye, or will they be gone before we can tell them how we truly feel?
---When we made it back to Stout Lizzy was off to work, and I was left with a quiet Sunday, with nothing to do but think and reflect on the feelings that the thought of death bring to me. It’s interesting to have minutes upon minutes, hours upon hours, and days upon days that are wasted, without ever stepping back and really embracing the thought of our mortality. We both agreed that each time we return home, each time we see a new wrinkle on mom’s face, a new characteristic of age exposing itself in the form of our dads’ growing beer bellies, that we truly start to see age taking its toll on those who brought us into this world. It’s and truly humbling feeling nonetheless.
---To many, aging is the most terrible thought in the world. But what’s so bad about it? Growing old with those you love, expanding your knowledge and wisdom with each passing year, and building a vast collection of memories doesn’t sound so bad to me. Now sure, you will get some crows feet or some laugh lines, your hair will thin and recede, things will sag and not look like they did ten or twenty years before, but quite honestly that is just part of growing old. These things are what happens to everything that is alive. We age. It is supposed to be that way. Besides, would a life everlasting, here on earth, be that great?
---There is a cemetery on an island in the middle of a lake here in Menomonie that we sometimes drive out to, mainly because it’s a damn cool cemetery, but also because it puts life into perspective. That island, there in the middle of the lake, is covered with headstones. All of the people buried on that peaceful and serene island all lived a life filled with these same questions about death. All feared the day that would bring them to their eternal resting place. It happens. We will die, all of us, and regardless of what we accomplished, how much money we made, who we knew, what we did to pass our Sunday afternoons, we will all leave the earth. Some of them were ready to go, and the dates on their tombstones made evident a life of longevity. For some, on the other hand, the dates on the tombstone made it clear that they were taken before there time, whatever that may mean.
---Our loved ones will be gone, we will be gone, and all of those born before and after us, will spiritually leave the earth as well. Death. Why is it so scary? After all, if we live a life surrounded by those most important to us, if those closest to us know how we feel about them, and if we take the time to prepare ourselves for the deaths of our loved ones and our own, then what is there to be so afraid of? I think about my Dad. I have wasted so many years with him because of a resentful anger. The last five or six years cannot be looked back on as memorable, they cannot be looked back on with thoughts of happiness and growth, they cannot be placed into the section of my memory that I wish to appreciatively reflect upon and embrace. But the saddest thing, though, is that those wasted moments cannot be relived. I can’t just simply rewind my VHS of life and press re-record. Those years are gone, and to tell the honest truth, it breaks my heart to know that because of resentment, I have wasted a large portion of the time that my Dad and me have had to share with one another.
---With the remainder of my life I look to value the real importance and reality of the temporariness that our existence on earth truly is. Resentment, holding anger, holding onto wrongful actions of others and our own is entirely wasteful. I am twenty years old, and if I am lucky, well over a quarter way through my life. Death. It is real and true, and will one day take our loved ones, or ourselves, out of this world forever. Tell someone that you love how much they mean to you. Give your mom, dad, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, best friends, a true understanding of exactly how important they are and how much they contributed to the life that is your own. Give your dad a big hug when you feel the urge. Give your mom a kiss on the cheek when it feels right. Write your brother or sister, or best friend a letter on a rainy afternoon to tell them how much you love them. I don’t want to wait anymore. What is the point? After all is said and done, and I draw my last breath in, and exhale it out, if I haven’t embraced and appreciated my chance at life, what is the point of having been given this great opportunity to truly live. Cliché? Yes. Bullshit? Maybe.
---As I finished this and was about to press publish, the song "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley came on. It's cool how life works sometimes. Listen to it. Even if you hate country, the message is a good one.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMLmlHfehQ
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